(Part of the Ebola Mom series)
I was being sarcastic. I’m pretty sure she just hates you.
Category Archives: Kids/Teaching
Boys to Men
Nothing was more rewarding, adorable, awkward, or terrifying than 28 fourth graders working together to write this poem about love. For the record, a boy chose the topic “love” and a boy chose the metaphor “butterflies.”
So what happens to the male brain between ages 10 and the age they create their first dating profile that completely erases these sentiments?
I’m just saying.
Notice no one chose the metaphor ” balloon knot.”
Sucking Up Only Works If You’re Right
Teaching metaphors in poetry.
Us: “So we want to try to compare bigger concepts to everyday objects. For example, ‘life is a staircase’ or ‘anger is fire.'”
Kid: “I have a good one!” (Huge, satisfied smile) “Kindness is like Miss Emily. Because you’re kind.”
No. Stop it.
Feeling Valued
That moment when your assistant principal bids on your teacher lunch date at the school auction.
Because no one else did.
And he feels bad for you.
To be fair, no parents from our class attended the auction.**
**Because they don’t care.***
***So I guess any way you slice it, it’s insulting.
What’s that? How was auction, you ask? I don’t know, I didn’t go.
Oh.
Nailed It, PTA
The PTA put together a book of prizes for our school’s upcoming auction fundraiser. The teachers all offered various “teacher play dates” as items up for bid. The book shows each teacher’s play date description, with either a photo of that teacher, or a cute little graphic. For example:
Or
Here’s ours:
Yeah. That about sums it up.
Defining Features
Discussing the teaching artist coming to our classroom today, whom we met a few months ago.
Me: “I don’t even remember what he looks like– do you?”
Coteacher: “Yes. Brooklyn.”
He has a beard.
Fine Line
As part of our poetry writing unit, we introduced the kids to limerick poems.
Kid: “I’m not sure I like limerick poems as much as I like other kinds of poetry.”
Me: “Ok, well I like your honesty. And I’m actually impressed that you have such a strong literary opinion.”
Kid: “Yeah, I mean limerick poems are fun to write, I guess, but I really prefer to have more of a challenge.”
Ok, nope. Now you’re annoying.
No One Asked You
Coteacher (to kids): “You should all tell your parents to bid on the teacher playdate prize at the auction fundraiser, because if you win, Miss Emily and I will take you out for pizza!”
Kid (dead serious): “I think Vietnamese food would be a better choice. For the more sophisticated palates.”
Pretty Sure She’ll Never Wear This Again
Yes, kid. If you’re going to wear a vintage Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle shirt to school then I am going to turn to you every few minutes and sing “heroes in a half shell– turtle power!”
I don’t know why you look so surprised.
Ebola Mom, Part 27
(Part of the Ebola Mom series)
Oh. Ok.
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