Category Archives: Kids/Teaching

The Root Of The Problem

Dating/Single Life, Kids/Teaching, , , , , ,

We had students choose someone special and write that person a love cinquain poem. Two boys got right down to work….

Kid 1: “So who are you writing your valentine poem for?”
Kid 2: “Sarah.”
Kid 1: “Who’s Sarah?”
Kid 2: “Well, there are actually two Sarahs. One is my cousin, another is this girl I know from camp. Not sure yet which one I’m giving it to.”
Kid 1 (gravely serious): “Dude– you should definitely give it to your cousin. Giving a love poem to someone who’s not in your family would be REALLY weird.”

And so it begins. Two young boys who understand nothing about love, soon to be grown men who understand nothing about love.

IMG_2007

The Truth Comes Out

Kids/Teaching, , ,

Guys, this is super awkward. How do I tell my co-teacher that this kid thinks I’m #1?

Maybe I just won’t tell her, and let her continue to think that HER same exact gift from this kid is the one that’s genuine.

But we all know what’s happening here. Similar to when homeless men tell me I’m beautiful, then say it to the person right behind me. No one should feel left out. But we all know who they’re REALLY talking to….

IMG_2004

Should I Be Concerned?

Kids/Teaching

Today in our tutoring session, we cut out and labeled arrays in order to practice multiplication. The kid had a pair of kid scissors, so I asked if she had a pair of adult scissors that I could use. She ran over to the kitchen sink and came back with a pair of meat shears.

Me: “Ummm… I’m no cooking expert, but I think these are supposed to be used for cutting meat.”
Kid: “Yeah well my mom doesn’t use them for that. She uses them to cut paper.”
Me (taking the shears): “Ok, if you’re SURE she uses them for paper…”
Kid: “Yeah trust me. Either that or she takes them into the bathroom. I don’t know WHAT she does in there.”

Putting down the meat shears now.

IMG_1394-2

A Rolex I Can Afford

Kids/Teaching, ,

Kid: “My dad just had a birthday.”
Me: “Oh yeah? Did you get him a nice gift?”
Kid: “Sure did. A Rolex.”
Me: “Wow. That IS a nice gift. How were you able to afford a Rolex? Because I would LOVE to be able to afford a Rolex.”
Kid: “It didn’t cost a thing.”
Me: “I’m confused.”
Kid: “I drew an X on a baseball. Then I rolled it to him.”
Me: (head in hands)
Kid: “I can get you one too if you want.”
Me: “I do not want one.”
Kid: “But you said you wanted a Rolex!”
Me: “Kid, listen to me and listen well– I do NOT want a baseball with an X on it. Do you understand?”
Kid: “Got it.”
Me: “Great.”
Kid (to his friend, as I walk away): “I’m SO going to give her a tennis ball with an X on it.”

IMG_1985-0

Did I Ever Tell You You’re My Hero?

Kids/Teaching, , ,

For homework, we asked the kids to interpret the lyrics to “Wind Beneath My Wings.”

Kid 1 took it to a whole new level and decided to download and watch the movie “Beaches” in order to get more context. He then explained the lyrics of the song in terms of “Whitney and Bette’s friendship,” hypothesizing that “Whitney didn’t care to be famous, she just wanted to help Bette be a star and be there for her as a friend– in other words, be her strength, like the song says.” Naturally, I got teary-eyed reading this essay because seriously what IS it about that movie?! (Side note: sorry to that kid’s parents for introducing him to a movie with themes of early death and infidelity. I hope he’s not as scarred as I was when my parents took me to see Pretty Woman in theaters when I was 8, presumably because they couldn’t find a babysitter).

And then, Kid 2:

“It’s about a bird. With wings.”

IMG_1960

This Kid Should Read My Blog

Kids/Teaching,

Me: “Oh, you’re learning to play the flute? I used to play the flute in elementary school.”
Student: “Yeah. I’m not that good at it, though.”
Me: “You’ll get better. It takes practice. And if it makes you feel better, I wasn’t so great at it either.”
Student (genuine surprise): “YOU weren’t good at something?”

Oh, kid. You don’t know me at all.

IMG_1444