Me (inspecting the artwork in Nora’s backpack): “Hey! You crossed out my name on this drawing and wrote Dad’s name instead?! You like him better than me?!”

Nora: “Mommy, no! That would be mean!”

Me: “I know I know I was just teasing.”

Nora: “It’s just that I thought I was gonna make just a messy scribble scrabble picture so I made it for you but then I started working hard and the picture turned out really beautiful so I made it for Dad instead.”

K well that’s actually way more fucked up than the thing I said.