(Part of the #june series)
Me: “I don’t know why you have to learn this, kid, you just do. Now go read.”
Then I notice the children aren’t in school today and I’m talking to myself.
#june
Tag Archives: kids
Field Day
Parent (to kid, picking him up at dismissal): “So, what’d you do at field day today?”
Kid: “Passed a cup to my friend.”
Parent: “You mean passed a ball?”
Kid: “No. A cup.”
Parent: “I don’t understand.”
I know, lady. Neither do we.
Yeah That’s Not How Cologne Works
That moment when your 10 year old student comes in wearing an ABSURD amount of cologne.
Because it’s field day.
I Hate When That Happens
“I was washing my eyebrows. They got bushy.”
–kid, when he came back from the bathroom DRENCHED in water and we asked him what happened.
Smoother
That moment when you’re 100% certain this 10 year old boy is flirting with you.
And you’re so uncomfortable.
But also, why is he so much smoother than most grown men I’ve met in NYC?
Wait, no. His fly is unzipped.
And his voice just cracked.
Eh. Still smoother.
June 2nd
(Continuation of June 1st )
Kid: “Why do we have to learn this?”
Me: “Because someone’s paying me– albeit, pennies. You hear me? Pennies!– to teach it to you. PENNIES, kid!”
#june
Ebola Mom, Part 37
(Part of the Ebola Mom series)
Had you actually waited for my answer, Nance, it would have been fine.
Also– 99% chance your nanny bought drugs.
June 1st
Kid: “Why do we have to learn this?”
Me: “Because someone’s paying me to teach it to you.”
#june
I MUST have that
I just did that awkward thing where I stopped someone walking by to ask her where she got her outfit, because it’s so damn cool and classy, and I just HAVE to have it.
But sadly she didn’t know where she got it.
Because her mom got it.
Because she’s 10.
He’s learned
“There’s no gift card in it.”– kid, handing my coteacher a birthday card.
He didn’t even sign the card. Or write a message.
He knew there was no point.
Emily's Posts 