“The fact that you guys don’t play music on the beach makes me want to kill myself.”
— Eric, dramatically disapproving of the way this family vacations.
“This family is a bunch of aristocrats…can’t even get themself….themself….themselve…fuck it never mind” (walks away).
— Jeremy, reacting to the fact that we have no American cheese in the house.
Staring at your Charity Miles app for almost the entire duration of your 9 mile OBX run in what can only be described as dog-death humidity (I swear I passed a whimpering, defeated camel), does NOT make the time go by faster.
It DOES, however, cause you to trip over a toddler on his tricycle.
But seriously. Stop crying.