Tag Archives: marathon

This is Why I Prefer Not to Have a Doorman

As I leave for my daily run, trying to get out the door and get started…

Doorman: “Wow, you sure do run a lot. Even in this heat?”

Me: “Yup! But this is nothing compared to how much I used to run! I used to run marathons and half marathons on the regular.”

Doorman: “Wow. But I find that people who run THAT much are running away from something.”

Oh. (awkward stare-down)

Me: “Ok, bye!”

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Yeah Something Like That

Kid: “I can’t believe you ran such a long race in that cold weather yesterday!”

Me: “Hah, I know! It was VERY cold and windy!”

Kid: “You must have been FREEZING!”

Me: “I sure was!”

Kid: “Yeah, but I bet you didn’t even care because you were so happy that you worked hard and reached your goal!”

Me: “Exactly!”

Eh. I was pretty fucking miserable.

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In Honor of National Women’s Day, A Woman Winning

Eric got us both FitBits and immediately challenged me to a “who takes more steps in a week” contest. Which, to be honest, is just insane, as 1) I run marathons and 2) I’m on my feet with children all day.

But he INSISTED he’d still out-step me, which made no logical sense, unless the theory “Boys are good at all the things!!!” makes sense to you. (No, he didn’t say that. But it was there on his smug face). So I have spent the entire week ensuring that I will beat him– running unnecessary runs, finishing every errand that’s been on my my to-do list for months, mindlessly walking in circles in my kitchen, pacing for 25 minutes in my therapist’s waiting room (which didn’t at all make the other patients anxious, I’m sure of it. They would have been clutching that Xanax regardless.)

But it’s all been worth it because I have been kicking his ass, and have so thoroughly enjoyed rubbing it in his face all week.

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Ok, well. This isn’t fun anymore.

I quit.