Tag Archives: shrink

Sometimes I Wish She Listened Less

Therapist: “So do you feel relieved now that you finally gave your boss notice that you’re quitting your job?”

Me: “Oh my god, YES. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’m anxious about the upcoming change. And it’s bittersweet. And I’m really going to miss being with my coworkers every day, several of whom are my closest friends. But I’m also excited, and know it’s the right thing. But more than anything I’m just really proud of myself. Usually, if I’m in a situation that’s comfortable, it takes me forever to get out of it, even when I know it’s what I need to do. But this time, I knew in like December that I needed out, and by February, I made the decision and did it.”

Therapist: “Right! (pause) Well..2010.”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Therapist: “You knew in December, 2010.”

Me: “Well, I mean, I didn’t really know then.”

Therapist (flipping through her notes): “December 6, 2010– ‘I need to quit my job. I’m unhappy in the system. I don’t feel fulfilled. I feel like if I stay one more year, I’m going to go insane.”

Me: “Right but that was just venting– I didn’t like KNOW know.”

Therapist (still quoting): “‘I know this with every fiber of my being.'”

Me: “Oh.”

Alright well I did it so BACK THE FUCK OFF.

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Therapy 

Me: “Can depression and anxiety cause sensory issues? I just feel like I’m SO sensitive to the feel of certain clothing on my body.”

Therapist: “Sensory issues can definitely be comorbid with anxiety. But give me an example.”

Me: “Like, for instance– bras. I can’t STAND wearing a bra. I feel like I’m always tugging at it and feeling suffocated and honestly, sometimes I just take it off in the middle of the day because I can’t stand it anymore. And I feel like it’s not normal to be THIS sensitive to it, and it must be related to my mental health issues, right? Or a side effect of the Prozac? Or maybe it’s a whole other disorder I didn’t even know I had?”

Therapist: “When was the last time you bought a bra?”

Me: “Ummm…” <thinking hard. A good 30 seconds pass>

Therapist: “Yeah. Your bras don’t fit.”

Me: “You think?”

Therapist: “Yes. Go buy new bras.”

Me: “Oh. Ok.”