….that make my damn day!
Falling squarely into the category of “What is WRONG with people?!”…this:
Tag Archives: teaching
“Oh, man, I could suck on it FOREVER.”
— kid, age 9, who I was relieved to discover was referring to a lollipop.
Well, sort of relieved.
Kid was REALLY into it.
A Lesson in Boredom
While prepping for the state test….
Kid: “Why do the reading passages always have to be so boring?”
Me: “Well, kid– in life, there are always going to be things you have to do that you will find boring. Even as an adult. So just plug through and then balance the boring things with things that excite you.”
Kid: “Even as an ADULT things are this boring?!”
Me: “Yes.”
Kid: “Like what? What do you have to do as an adult that is THIS boring?”
Have this conversation.
Thanks, Lady
Last night at parent/teacher conferences, a parent told us that this summer, her family is moving to another state. We were sad to hear this, as we really like this family.
Us: “Well, be sure to keep in touch.”
Mom: “Of course. And if you two ever find yourselves in our area, please visit!”
Us: “We just might!”
Mom: “And call us if you ever need advice down the road…(looks at my co-teacher, who is engaged)…like if you decide to have kids one day (looks at me)…or a pet.”
Parent Teacher Conferences Are Over
“Hi! I’d like one of everything you sell. And also a straw.” — me, right now, at the wine store.
Things That Make Teaching Worth It
Kid: “When my mom comes for her parent/teacher conference tonight, just remind her who is Miss Emily and who is [my co-teacher], because she doesn’t know.”
Me: “But I’ve been your teacher for 3 years.”
Kid: (Stares blankly. Shrugs shoulders. Wipes runny nose with back of palm.)
So THIS is why my students are useless after lunch
On half days, teachers have the distinct pleasure of having lunch with the kids.
“Look, Miss Emily– it’s chicken terayaki!”
If that is chicken, then my entire life I’ve been wrong about what chicken is.
I feel like I need to send this to Michelle Obama.
Ebola Mom, Part 19
(Continuation of Ebola Mom Part 18, and part of the Ebola Mom series)
Three things, Nanc:
1. I’m going to go ahead and NOT accept your apology.
2. Why would you admit that? WHY?! There is no logical reason to admit that. Would you like ME to admit that I think you’re an assclown? No. That benefits no one. So I’ll keep that information between me and the Internet, where it belongs.
3. Your nanny has been framing me since day one.
Ebola Mom, Part 18
I hope this isn’t what everyone thinks…
Kid: “Can I tell you something funny?”
Me: “You can tell me something. I’m very interested to see if it’ll ACTUALLY be funny.” (It never is).
Kid: “Oh, it is. Trust me.” (I don’t)
Me: “Ok, go for it.”
Kid: “So you know how on Star Trek, the whole idea is that they are looking for other species?”
Me: “Yes…” (No. And losing the minuscule amount of faith I had that this would be funny).
Kid: “Well, ok, so, they keep all the information in this GIANT database. And it’s basically like what google is today…”
Me: “Right…”
Kid: “Oh. Ok. I guess you didn’t think it’s funny.”
Me: “Wait you’re DONE?”
Kid: “Yeah.”
Me: “I did not realize the story was over and that the thing that was supposed to be funny was already said.”
Kid: “Man, I was SURE you’d find that funny.”
Me: “But…but…WHY?”
Kid: “I’ve studied your humor for 3 years. I know it very very very well.”
Well this is a problem.
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