Tag Archives: divorce

The Right Thing To Say

Parent (to me): “So on my kid’s middle school application, I have to explain her multiple absences last year, what do you think I should put as the reason?”

Me: “Well. What WAS the reason?”

Parent: “My ex-husband is a useless dickbag and couldn’t get her to school in the morning while I worked.”

Me: “Um….’family circumstances?'”

Parent: “Oooooh, that’s GOOD! You know all the right things to say.”

Oh to be clear I would 100% write the dickbag thing.  In all caps, 30-point font, and with these emoji Eggplant_Emoji_large-1.pngx1f45c.png.pagespeed.ic.nYQcdHY6lD.png

It just seems you want to go in a different direction.

 

 

Right. Or They Peacefully Resolve It. 

Reading a story in which the two main characters are fighting, I urge the kid to make a prediction about the outcome. 
 
Me: “So let’s think…what are some things that usually happen in real life after two people get into a disagreement?”
Kid: “Divorce. Or a knife fight.”
 
Remind me not to raise my kids here.