A mom and her small child get into the elevator with me…
Me (to child): “Ooooh! And what are YOU dressed up as for Halloween? Whatever it is, you look awesome!”
Child: <blank, confused stare>
Mom: “Oh she has no idea it’s Halloween. We don’t celebrate it. This is just what she decided to wear today.”
Well then she looks ABSURD.
We asked kids to write their own division problems. Here’s what one kid wrote:
“There are 265 gift certificates to eat at Daniel. 12 kids in 4th grade split the certificates equally. How many gift certificates to Daniel will each kid get?”
This is Daniel.
I’ve never been.
I can’t afford it.
Reading a story in which the two main characters are fighting, I urge the kid to make a prediction about the outcome.
Me: “So let’s think…what are some things that usually happen in real life after two people get into a disagreement?”
Kid: “Divorce. Or a knife fight.”
Remind me not to raise my kids here.