With the family (minus my brothers) at Passover, discussing my baby nephew one day having a sibling:
Steph: “Not any time soon.”
Andrew: “Or maybe never. One is enough.”
Dad: “Yeah. Try FOUR.”
Andrew: “No. You guys are insane.”
Dad: “I am not the one who wanted four. (Pointing to Mom) She bullied me into it.”
Me: “Aw, come on. Zack was totally worth it!”
Dad: “Yeah….now.”
(Note: Jeremy was at no point mentioned in this conversation)
Game, set, match.
Thanks for the birthday treats, favorite* sibling!
*favorite fluctuates on as-needed basis
Besides me.
It is so NOT fine.
You know your mom’s the coolest when you describe a guy you went on a date with as “a huge pussy,” and instead of cringing or telling you to watch your language, she simply responds:
“Uch. Yeah. Forget it.”
Because Grandma Charlie has no time for a wuss.
Nor is she dramatic.
Me: “What was the most significant, life-altering experience you’ve ever had?”
Dad (right away): “The day I became a father.”
Mom (long, contemplative pause): “The day I was a clown in the circus.”
Yeah. You can’t compete with that.
Dad was here this weekend and, over some wine, recounted the story of how he was being groomed for the family business, but decided, most irresponsibly, to skip the business boards and instead go to a basketball game with his friends. He thought he could just take a make-up exam, but he was wrong. So, on a whim, he decided to go to law school instead. He then became a very successful lawyer and discovered a profession he loves.
So the lesson here is that if you ditch your responsibilities, a better opportunity will simply fall into your lap. So just be as flaky as possible and it’ll all work out.
Or something about a mix of serendipity, hard work, forging your own path, and opening yourself up to endless possibilities.
I don’t know I was drunk.
My friend set up a weekend in NYC for our college friends to get together with our families. So far, all my friends’ families are in. When I told Mom and Dad about it, their responses were as follows:
Dad: 
Mom: 
So basically, I’m the back-up plan.
#toocool
And then I asked him to marry me.
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