(Part of the Ebola Mom series)
I was being sarcastic. I’m pretty sure she just hates you.
Tag Archives: teacher problems
Sucking Up Only Works If You’re Right
Teaching metaphors in poetry.
Us: “So we want to try to compare bigger concepts to everyday objects. For example, ‘life is a staircase’ or ‘anger is fire.'”
Kid: “I have a good one!” (Huge, satisfied smile) “Kindness is like Miss Emily. Because you’re kind.”
No. Stop it.
Fine Line
As part of our poetry writing unit, we introduced the kids to limerick poems.
Kid: “I’m not sure I like limerick poems as much as I like other kinds of poetry.”
Me: “Ok, well I like your honesty. And I’m actually impressed that you have such a strong literary opinion.”
Kid: “Yeah, I mean limerick poems are fun to write, I guess, but I really prefer to have more of a challenge.”
Ok, nope. Now you’re annoying.
No One Asked You
Coteacher (to kids): “You should all tell your parents to bid on the teacher playdate prize at the auction fundraiser, because if you win, Miss Emily and I will take you out for pizza!”
Kid (dead serious): “I think Vietnamese food would be a better choice. For the more sophisticated palates.”
I Miss Kindergarten
That awkward moment when you have to use the phrase “private area” with 4th grade boys as you lecture them for punching each other in the penis.
Wacky Hair Day
So I added a bird to my usual bird’s nest.
#thingsidoatwork #mastersdegree
I Regret Teaching You About The Importance of Honesty
Me: “Hey kiddo! Excited to see me?!”
Kid (shrugging shoulders): “I’m not sure.”
Ok then try lying. Jerk.
Kids, Please Don’t Go Home and Tell Mom What You Learned in School Today
“Miss Emily, the buttons on your shirt look like nipples!” — teaching assistant, age 60.
Yes. You read that correctly. A 60 year old said this. Not a kid. But she said it IN FRONT OF the kids.
So that was great.
But the most upsetting part is that now these poor kids think THAT’s where nipples are supposed to be.
What Happens When You Test Prep for 3 Months Instead of Teaching Content
Us (to students): “So remember before all the test prep began, when we were learning about our nation’s history? Who remembers the names of the 13 colonies?”
Kid (eager and with confidence): “CANADA!”
The kid totally knows how to fill out a bubble sheet, though.
He’ll be fine.
The Perfect Way to Celebrate
That glorious first day after state testing is done, when you show up to work and find out you’re being pulled from your classroom to give 4 make-up state tests.
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