Kid: “What’s your Instagram name?”
Me: “What’s Instagram?”
Kid: “You don’t know what Instagram is?!”
Me: “Is it like a cracker you can make instantly?”
Kid <head in hands>: “Oh my god.”
Tag Archives: teaching
Not Good
“I would die if I had your job. I don’t know how teachers do it. I could just never do that job.”
— Manicurist, as she scraped dead skin out from under my nails
Maturity
4th grade is that weird age when there is a huge range of maturity level in the class. Interaction I just witnessed…
Kid 1 (excitedly, to kid 2): “I am Harry Potter and YOU are Dumbledor! (waves imaginary wizard wand) And I’M going to cast a magic spell that freezes everyone so that no one can turn the pages in their book!”
Kid 2 (dead-eyed and deadpan): “Yeah. I don’t care.”
Related
Me: “I hope that what you’re drawing on that post-it is related to the math lesson.”
Kid: “It is!”
Test Prep
To the kid who had the audacity to fall asleep in the middle of our lesson–
I get it.
-Miss Emily
You know what they say
Another day, another half-dollar.
After taxes.
We Don’t.
I would like to thank our super tan and relaxed-looking principal for reminding us at our after-school staff meeting today that “if you have the means, you should all REALLY take winter vacations as an opportunity to go somewhere warm and remote, like I just did.”
Yeah, we don’t.
We don’t have the means.
We’re teachers.
Now can we go write the report cards that you just informed us are due tomorrow?
Great.
Thanks.
The only people more miserable than teachers the last night of a school vacation are the significant others of teachers.
NOTHING YOU’RE SAYING IS HELPING!!!!!!
(I love you.)
Lesson Learned
The exact moment you get so fed up with work bullshit that you TRULY stop giving a fuck will be the exact moment your principal comes and observes a lesson that goes so scarily well, she asks if you paid your students to sound so intelligent and insightful.
What. Is. Happening?!?!
Yeah no this job still sucks.
Dear Society,
Please stop assuming that because I am a teacher of young children, I must want to play with/talk to your young child.
I do not.
Emily
Emily's Posts 