(Continuation of Ebola Mom Part 29 and part of the Ebola Mom series)
And 30 minutes after posting about life’s tendency to be awkward and uncomfortable, this lady. Right on cue.
Oh, I’m sorry. Was I supposed to respond?
Guys– I’m a little worried she thinks we’re friends.
Waiting for my drink at Starbucks, a woman and her young, exasperated-and-annoyed looking child stand next to me. And immediately, all I hear is whining. “It smells in here, my drink doesn’t taste good, I need more napkins, it’s too cold in here, what is TAKING so long?” And I’m just staring at the mom with my head in my hands.
So finally, thank GOD, she gets fed up, turns around, and yells “Oh my gosh, stop whining! This is a NO WHINING ZONE. It is NOT allowed.”
And she did. The mom stopped.
So thank you, kid. You must have a fantastic Kindergarten teacher.
(part of the Ebola Mom series)
Tutoring Ebola Mom’s kid…
Kid: “My mom tried to find you on Facebook but couldn’t.”
Me: “Oh. I don’t use Facebook.”
Kid: “You don’t?”
Me: “Nope. No Facebook. No Instagram. No Internet, really. At all. Ever.”
(Part of the Ebola Mom series)
Only Ebola Mom could manage to turn birthday sentiments into an accusation.
Umm…I’m sorry?
(Continuation of Ebola Mom Part 18, and part of the Ebola Mom series)
Three things, Nanc:
1. I’m going to go ahead and NOT accept your apology.
2. Why would you admit that? WHY?! There is no logical reason to admit that. Would you like ME to admit that I think you’re an assclown? No. That benefits no one. So I’ll keep that information between me and the Internet, where it belongs.
3. Your nanny has been framing me since day one.
(Part of the Ebola Mom series)
I’m less concerned about the fact that my cell number was passed along without my permission than I am about the fact that someone has chosen to be good friends with Ebola Mom.
Also– 13 YEAR OLD BOY?! No. My misery quota for this season has been filled.
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