Unfortunately, this was sent to a friend of mine, not to me. And I’ve never been more jealous.
#myemojiwizardsoulmate
Category Archives: Dating/Single Life
This Technologically-Impaired Guy
I wish I could explain how fun it was to watch this unfold.
Unfair
When I told my date last night that I am going to Florida in February, he immediately jumped to the conclusion that my parents have a second home there. He literally just assumed that because I am a Jewish girl from the east coast, my family MUST have a house in Florida. And that really pissed me off.
Because why DON’T we have a house in Florida, Mom and Dad?
My Mom Has the Utmost Confidence in Me
My mom is in town for the week, and last night the whole family got together for dinner:
Mom: “What are your plans tomorrow?”
Me: “I have a date. A first date.”
Brother-in-law: “Where are you going?”
Me: “I forgot the name. It’s a place I’ve never been to before.”
Brother-in-law: “You should try this place The Jeffrey. They have really good drinks. I think it’s expensive though, so maybe save it for a 3rd date.”
Mom: “Yeah, if she makes it that far.”
This Helpful Guy
As a teacher (and someone who is just generally overwhelmed at all times), I DID kind of appreciate how he broke things down and made it easier for me.
Regardless, I chose “Report a Concern.”
Always Be Honest With Your Dating App, Part 2
After yesterday’s feedback (see Always Be Honest With Your Dating App ), I probably asked for this….
This Cheesy Guy
I’m thinking a lot of things, Ben. None of them are good.
This Defensive Guy
After several emails back and forth with this guy from JDate (as a reminder, the J in JDate stands for “Jewish”– what’s that? Everyone knows this? Yeah well that’s what I thought too), he asks me out and we make a plan:
Oh, ok. Thanks for the power-point-presentation-turned-blow-off, weirdo.
I will have an awesome week.
Always Be Honest With Your Dating App
The dating site “Coffee Meets Bagel” just sent me my daily match. For those of you who don’t know how this dating site works (which likely means you are in a happy, committed relationship, and have been for a while, so go fuck yourself (keep reading my blog, though)), every day the app sends you a “bagel” (aka, a “match”) and you decide if you are going to “like” or “pass.”
After you “like” your bagel (yup, this is a phrase I say with a straight face these days) the app will ask you WHY you liked him, in what I assume is an attempt to gather more information abut “your type,” in order to send you more accurate matches each day.
Unfortunately, none of the choices provided matched my true reason for “liking” today’s bagel, so I had to provide my own response at the bottom.
I can’t wait to see who I get tomorrow, as honesty never backfires.
This Cryptic Emoji-Using Guy, Part 2
Continuation of This Cryptic Emoji-Using Guy
Ummm…not now.
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