Category Archives: Family

This Is Why Zack Rarely Makes The Blog

February 21, 2015Familybrothers, family, family dynamics, textingEmily

After 32 Years, My Family Totally Gets My Sense of Humor

February 19, 2015Familyfamily, family dynamicsEmily

Right after reading Point Taken, my aunt texts me on the family group chat:

The important thing here is that she got the punchline of my post AND has full faith in my intelligence.

Point Taken

February 18, 2015Family, Random Thoughts/Happeningsblogger problems, blogging, cautionary tales, concerned family, family, family dynamics, jewish auntsEmily

Yesterday, my aunt sent me the following email:

The article talks about a woman who sent out one racist tweet, and her life was completely ruined. She was cyber-bullied, lost her job, and essentially lost her entire identity and any sense of credibility as a decent human being. The article gives other examples of people whose lives were completely destroyed in the name of one joke-gone-wrong on the Internet.

So, yeah, I get it Aunt Sherry– “THESE people got famous with ONE tweet. Step up your game, Em!”

Harsh but fine. Point taken. Currently scripting world’s funniest Underground Railroad-meets-Holocaust tweet.

Keep the helpful feedback comin’, family!

Emails From My Brothers #8: Creepy Monkey’s Couch Pal

February 16, 2015Familybrothers, family, family dynamics, going home, home, mom, siblingsEmily

In direct response to Emails From My Brothers #1, and part of the Emails From My Brothers series.

Going home to Maryland always brings new, exciting discoveries.

Uncle Zack Shows Concern

February 16, 2015Familybrother, family, family dynamics, nephew, nursery, siblingsEmily

Immediately after seeing my post Sweet Dreams of Death and Despair, Baby Boy, this:

Also the baby will be fine and not all psychologically damaged by what you created in that room.

Sweet Dreams of Death and Despair, Baby Boy

February 15, 2015Familybrothers, family, family dynamics, nursery, siblings, teenagersEmily

I just got back to my parents’ house in Maryland, where I am staying the night before I fly out to Florida tomorrow. When I got here, my mom was super excited to show me the crib she got for my baby nephew. I was psyched to see it until she told me where it resides– in Zack’s bedroom.

Zack is my youngest sibling. He is 26 years old. His bedroom, however, never escaped the dark days of puberty.

I immediately panicked. A montage to explain why:

Sweet dreams, baby boy.

Nothing Ever Goes Wrong When I Travel

February 15, 2015Family, Mental Health, Random Thoughtsairplane travel, florida, mental health, travelingEmily

That moment when your flight to go to Florida, a trip you’ve been looking forward to for months and upon which your mental sanity lies, is cancelled (because guys, it’s REALLY cold out there– no, not snowing. Just cold. And I’m not sure if you knew this, but back when planes were first built, no one considered the factor of coldness. I guess maybe coldness didn’t exist back then. And in the 112 years since that first plane was invented, no one has yet thought to coldness-proof the design, even though, as it turns out, much of the earth is cold.)

Fucking Spirit Air. Never again.

So what do you do? Book your only affordable option, which is to fly out from DC tomorrow, and which will involve you hopping on a 5 hour bus right now home to your parents’ house.

And is it worth it? Yes. Because, guys– I already painted my nails pink. If I stay in NY I’ll just look stupid.

Plus, Dad’s wine tonight. Things could be worse.

(But let me just clarify, in case you thought I was getting all Positive Patty on you– things could be a LOT fucking better).

*typed while defrosting my hands in Penn Station, sandwiched between two homeless men.