Kid who never completes the homework I leave for him proudly hands me his work…
Kid: “You’ll be so happy– I did ALL the homework!”
Me: “Fabulous!” (look at sheet. See it’s incomplete. Stare at child, confused)
Kid: “…that I had time for.”
Tag Archives: homework
I think he missed my point
Me (holding up homework sheet): “Hey, kiddo. Do you happen to have wild animals living with you in your apartment?”
Kid: “No. My cat Muffin hardly bothers me at all!”
Me: “Oh. Well I just assumed there must be wild animals around, because why else would your sheet look like this?”
Kid: “I don’t know. It definitely wasn’t Muffin. He’s a good cat.”
Honesty
Me (to student): “Did you do your homework on a calculator?”
Kid: “No!!!”
Me: “Well, I find it hard to believe that you randomly came up with that super long number as your answer. Which would technically be the correct answer to 40 divided by 3, had you used a decimal point after the first 3. But that would be strange, since we never taught you decimal points. Only remainders.”
Kid: (Blank stare)
Me: “Also, I see NO work.”
Kid: (Blanker stare)
Me: “So again, I will ask you– did you use a calculator?”
Kid (wide-eyed): “NO. I did NOT.”
Me: “Unfortunately I don’t believe you.”
Kid: “I swear! I used an iPhone!!!!!”
Curriculum Night
Parent (in the middle of our presentation on curriculum and expectations): “1.5 hours of homework a night?! For a NINE year old? Don’t you think that’s excessive?”
Me: “No. Not at all.”
Yes. Obviously. Jesus Christ.
But don’t grill me in a formal setting in front of all the other parents regarding a school policy you know I have no control over. You want my real opinion? Buy me a beer first. Or make a subtle snide remark at Christmas as you slip me $100.
Amateur.
Extra homework for YOUR kid.
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