There is a staff photo wall in our school, with pictures of staff members partaking in activities they enjoy. My photo is an action shot from the NYC half marathon I ran.
Kid: “Ms. Emily, you look different in that picture on the wall downstairs.”
Me: “I know, I look super tough and athletic right?”
Kid: “No. Just younger.”
Then I ripped up the paper he was working on and flunked him.
Just fell asleep wrapped tightly in my iPhone charger!
Like all the other standard adult role models in your life.
My proudest moment as a teacher is when I taught a kid how to not laugh at his own jokes. He had a great sense of humor, but ruined it by cracking up at himself. In order to prevent this, I told him to picture something really serious after telling the punchline.
So there’s a solid chance this kid spends 90% of his waking hours thinking about death.
He SO much funnier, though.
Kid (to another kid): “You’re from Africa? I’m from Africa too! Well, South Africa. And Virginia. And also Pennsylvania.”
He’s from Haiti.
(Related to Ebola Mom Part 24, and part of the Ebola Mom series)
So again…math tutor. I am your daughter’s math tutor.
These 5th graders are totally on the case!
When you live where you work, you can NOT go run a quick errand braless.
Admittedly, this is about the 9th time I’ve learned this lesson the hard way.
I just really hate bras.
But I’m sorry for the weird moment, kid.
That moment when your FOURTH GRADE student has an accident of the #2 variety in his pants just as the assistant principal comes to observe your teaching.
Can’t make this shit up.
Literally.
(Continuation of Ebola Mom Part 34 and part of the Ebola Mom series )
Good. She needs someone to like.
“This school is so fucking dumb.” –parent, to his child, on the front steps of our school, when the security guard wouldn’t let him in early.
Yes, sir. It’s the school that’s so fucking dumb. You nailed it.
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