Tag Archives: pedicure

Sassy Pedicurist: An Investigation

(Part of the Sassy Pedicurist series)

Many of you have expressed your sadness over the absence of Sassy Pedicurist. I know. Thanks to what I can only assume is Stockholm Syndrome, I miss that abusive, cranky old bitch too. So today I went to my old nail salon to inquire about her absence.

Me (to two manicurists sitting in the front): “Hi there! So I noticed that my regular manicurist has been gone for a while. I’m just wondering, is she coming back? Did she switch salons?”

Manicurist 1: “Which lady you talk about?”

Me: “Um…well, she’s older. I mean, not old. But like, older than you guys. I’m assuming. And, you know, she’s…Asian. So…”


Me: “I’m not great at describing people.”


Me: “Anyway, I’m just wondering where she went, because I really liked her. She did my nails for years.”

Manicurist 2: “What is her name?”

(Long pause)

Me: “I don’t know.”


So the good news is that I managed to eventually uncover that Sassy has been out of town, but will be back at the nail salon in about a month.

The bad news is that I can never go back there.


Sassy Pedicurist: This is Good Decision

(Part of the Sassy Pedicurist series)


Just popped into the nail place…

Me: “Hi there! Do you have time to give me a quick eyebrow wax?”
Sassy: “Not now. You come back in one hour.”
Me: “Eek, I can’t. I’m going out tonight, and have to leave kind of soon.”
Sassy: “You have date tonight?”
Me: “Yes…”
Sassy (staring at my eyebrows): “Wax is good decision. I do you now. Come.”
Me: “Thank you!”
Sassy: “Yes. Good eyebrow important for date.”

(long pause)

Sassy: “We do bikini too.”