Tag Archives: teaching

Hindsight is 20/20

Kids/Teaching, Mental Health, , , , , , , , , , , ,

Being a Special Education teacher is a great profession for me because, given that I have ADD and anxiety, and given how that affected my own school experience, I can totally relate to how these kids are feeling, and can therefore be super patient and supportive. 

….is what I thought when I got into this profession. 

What actually happened is that I signed up to work in a hot, dirty classroom full of 30 kids who represent everything I hate about myself. 

This is less a recipe for patience than it is a recipe for pulling my hair out strand by srand, finding the nearest table, crawling under it, and rocking back and forth in the fetal postion. 

Good intentions, though. 

  

95 Degrees Tomorrow

Kids/Teaching, , , , ,

Us (to the school custodian): “Will the AC be fixed tomorrow?! It’s going to be 95 degrees! We’re suffering in here and it’s only in the 80s today!”

Custodian: “You have FOUR DAYS left.”

Us: “But it’s so hot on the 5th floor! The heat rises! We can’t breathe!”

Custodian: “Not even 4 days! 3 and a half days! That’s IT. I’m here ALL SUMMER.”

Good. Someone to find my remains.

#wemightdieinhere

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Just Based On Your Looks, Part 2

Kids/Teaching, , , , , , ,

(Continuation of Just Based on Your Looks )

So last week, a kid told me that physically, I resemble a Siberian cat. She wasn’t sure which animal represented my personality, but she thought about it (a LOT) over the weekend and finally decided:

Sperm whale.

I shit you not. She decided I am a sperm whale.

I asked her why, and she gave me an entire dissertation. Literally a 10-15 point list. I asked her to please write it down because at a certain point, I was unable to follow what the hell she was saying.

I did manage, however, to process and remember her #1 reason: “Sperm whales are very intelligent animals that hang around the bottom of the ocean with the least intelligent of species.”

I’m assuming this is a dig at my co-teacher. Not because she’s not intelligent, but because that would be fucking hilarious.

Pretty much all the other reasons began with the sentence, “Well, don’t be offended by this, but…”

That’s when I stopped listening and told her to put it in writing.

To be continued.

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