Sometimes I get anxious about my new career path– because change, no matter how good and how healthy, is always difficult for me (and, like, everyone on Earth. I know I’m not unique in this. I do think I am slightly more panicked/anxious/dramatic/unable-to-calm-the-fuck-down-y than the average human during a transition, but I recognize that general feelings of discomfort are pretty universal. So if anyone else is out there going through a time of change, feel free to hit me up for some commiseration. Or just try the exercise below. I found it extremely therapeutic, and I think it would make both my therapist and Oprah proud.)

Here’s a nifty list of things I can do now that I am no longer a classroom teacher, just as a reminder that I made the right choice for myself.

1. Pee
2. Pee in a bathroom that is a bathroom, not a closet or former jail cell
3. Breathe without inhaling germs
4. Breathe (in general)
5. Go to the doctor
6. Not go to the doctor, because I’m not sick anymore
7. Have air conditioning when it’s hot
8. Have heat when it’s cold
9. Overall do my work in temperatures humans were meant to exist in
10. Read the news
11. Curse
12. Curse while reading the news
13. Not eat a packed lunch
14. Not make a packed lunch
15. Not make 5 packed lunches at once on Sunday night because the process of packing a lunch is so depressing, I have to do it all in one shot
16. Cry. In the moment I feel like crying, without having to find the nearest janitors closet.
17. Raise my voice without fear of abuse charges
18. Make an important phone call without fear of being caught
19. Answer an important phone call without fear of being caught
20. Read/write an important text/email without fear of being caught
21. Eat a snack without fear of being caught
22. Drink a hot beverage without fear of being caught
23. Not fear being caught for doing things all humans need to do to be human
24. Wake up no earlier than 7:00am, as God intended
25. Teach the way I want to teach, teach everything I planned to teach, and use my actual personality while teaching, because behavior management is no longer the priority
26. Be honest, not politically correct, with parents.
27. Truly know and care about every single child I work with (some classroom teachers are able to do this– I found it impossible)
28. Be appropriately compensated for the work I do and the effort I put forth
29. Feel effective
30. Feel appreciated
31. Pee (it’s worth repeating)