Eric and I are babysitting my nephew all day today.
Me (watching Tyler contentedly watching Winnie the Pooh): “See? We can do this! Parenthood is easy! He’s quiet and happy.”
Eric: “How much time has gone by?”
3 minutes.
Category Archives: Random Thoughts/Happenings
And then he heard it
“Yes!! What do we have that I can jerk?!?!”
— Eric, a little too excited about our new jerky maker
It’s the Little Things
This week I was having major anxiety, but then this happened.
Is anybody else REALLY FUCKING EXCITED for “This is Us”??!!??!?!
Watch this trailer and don’t cry I double dog DARE you (whether or not I’m drunk right now is irrelevant).
All I ask on this 9/11 anniversary is for every politician to shut their damn mouth and every football player to fucking stand. I don’t have it in my heart to be disgusted by you tomorrow.
He Was Never the Brightest Crayon In The Box
Oh, Ryan Lochte, you sweet little dodo bird. We know you didn’t lie, you just got confused. But nobody robbed you– that pee was supposed to leave your body. That’s how peeing works, buddy!
Toss-up
Which is more wildly unacceptable– the fact that someone allowed “American Dad” to be a part of the TBS syndicated line-up, or the fact that I have nothing better to do at 1:00pm on a Thursday than to both watch it and complain about it?
Either way, not great.
#summerofgeorge
“You two were awesome on the dance floor. You have some serious moves.”
— Everyone at last weekend’s wedding, to me and Eric, but looking only at Eric.
“My neck hurts.”
— Eric, feeling particularly short at last weekend’s non-Jewish wedding.
Maybe after Trump’s done borrowing Khizr Khan’s copy of the constitution, I’ll gladly lend him my dictionary so he can look up the meaning of the word “founder.”
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