Tag Archives: cars

Survival Tactics

Me and a friend (a new friend who doesn’t know me or my family that well), discussing the idea of large families:

Friend: “I can’t BELIEVE your mom had four children. That is so many!”

Me: “I completely agree. I mean, it’s great now that we are all adults. But as young kids? Four is too many. My mom had to live in her car for like 15 years.”

Friend: “Wait, what?! She LIVED in the car? Why? Where did the rest of you live?”

Me (laughing): “No no, I’m sorry. I meant that she had to spend all of her time in the car. Driving us to all our activities and carpooling.”

Friend: “Oh my god. I thought you meant like because of having so many kids, there wasn’t enough room in the house, or enough money or something, so she had to live alone in her car.”

No. But to be honest, she probably would have preferred that arrangement.


Kids Have The Darndest Ideas

 Kid (super excited): “My friend and I wrote a whole thesis about why and how human blood can be used to power cars. Because blood has iron. We have a diagram and everything, and explain all the science behind it. We’ve been working on it for months. It’s like 20 pages long. Do you want to read it?”

Me: “DO I?!?”

No. I do not.

I’d actually rather you stab me repeatedly and use my blood to power said car.

If that’s an option.