That moment when you enter a Gymboree for your friend’s kid’s 1st birthday party while simultaneously checking a dating app message from a guy that says “I can tell you have luscious tits.”
I’m at a weird place in my life.
Tag Archives: dating
Conversations Everyone Wants to Have During a Goodnight Kiss
Guy: “Do you have gum in your mouth AGAIN?”
Me: “Oh. Yeah. I’m an after-dinner gum chewer. Force of habit.”
Guy: “Well would you mind spitting it out?”
Me: “Sure. Sorry. Is it distracting?”
Guy: “No. It’s disgusting.”
Oh.
This Persistent Guy
Yes, I had a nice time. Thanks for asking.
Keepin It Classy
That moment when you walk by the piece of gum you spit out onto the sidewalk mid-goodnight-kiss last night.
This Guy Who Knows EXACTLY What He Wants
Umm. Is this a typo?
Seems like a very specific vision for a white Jewish guy.
But Seriously, I’m Never Dramatic
On This Mother’s Day, A Classic Quote From My Jewish Mother
Just now, on the phone:
Mom: “So, you had a third date with this guy? That sounds promising!”
Me: “Well, no, we have a third date coming up. But yeah, he’s a good guy.”
Mom: “Good! When’s the date?”
Me: “Thursday.”
Mom: “Ok.”
(long pause)
Mom: “So when is he going to ask you for a weekend date?”
This Cornball
Weirdly what I hate most about this is his choice of talk show host.
I hate it all, though.
This Nazi
No I’m fine with all that, I just don’t date blondes.
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