Desperately searching for internet evidence that wine and a bag of croutons dipped in ranch is a nutritious dinner, otherwise it’s minute 1 of my new diet and I’ve already blown it.
On an unrelated note I feel like complete dogshit today.
Tag Archives: diet
He Fucked With Mom’s Dessert
(Continuation of Don’t Fuck With Mom’s Dessert )
“You people don’t know ANYTHING about ice cream. You gotta get the stuff people actually LIKE. You can’t be cheap about ice cream.”
— Mom, when my brother-in-law came back from the store with Turkey Hill brand.
I tried to warn you, man. 
Don’t Fuck With Mom’s Dessert
(Related to Don’t Fuck With Mom’s Coffee )
Zack is running to the grocery store and asked if we had any requests. 
Secretly hoping he returns with fro-yo, just to see what happens.
#GrandmaCharlieWillCutYou
Yeah. THAT’S what’s wrong with it.
Kid: “This meal is obviously over-cooked.”
Portion Control
I don’t know kid, maybe you should go back and ask the lunch lady for a few more.
#publicschool
YES.
It’s weird when the very news that gives you a reason to live happens to be the exact thing that will kill you.
Regardless. I’m not NOT doing this.
Lunch
I was only supposed to be in Florida through this morning, but because of a flight cancellation, my trip is now extended through tomorrow. My gracious hosts weren’t planning on having me here for today, and they had to go into work. They were VERY concerned about what I was going to do for lunch, which was sweet, but come on guys, I’m 32 years old, I’m pretty sure I know how to fix myself a meal.
To be clear, the apple is decorative.
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