Kid: “Miss Emily, how come you never wear any makeup?”
I wear makeup every day.
Tag Archives: makeup
Because of my face
“Um excuse me– why do you wear so much makeup?”
— family friend. Age 5.
Guys Know Nothing
Him: “You have that natural look. Like, you’re pretty without makeup. That’s hard to pull off.”
Me: “I appreciate you saying that, but I’m not sure that’s accurate!”
Him: “It is. Trust me. Most girls show up to a first date wearing so much makeup. You barely have any on, and you look great. That’s really impressive.”
Me (coy smile, blushing): “Aw, well thank you.”
I was wearing a SHIT TON of makeup.
You’ve Got It All Wrong
That moment when you’re getting ready for work and you look out your window and spot a woman who’s just got it all wrong. The outfit, the hair, the bag, the makeup, the expression on her face– everything is a giant hot mess. And you just want to reach out, give her a hug, and say “Come girl, let’s fix you.”
Wait, not a window. A mirror.
Shock and Awe
“Oh my god Miss Emily– you’re a beautiful woman!” –kid, when I returned from my lunch break wearing makeup.
Mental Note: Put more effort into self.
Also: Be nicer to said kid.
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