Tag Archives: presidential election

The P-Word

Kid: “Who are you voting for?”
Me: “Oh, um. You know what, I’m not entirely sure I should say. I’m not sure what your parents’ views are, and I don’t know if they’d want me to share mine with you.”
Kid: “Oh, my parents HATE Donald Trump.”
Me: (laughing)
Kid: “Yeah. And since those tapes of him came out on the news, now we can’t even say the p-word in my house anymore! He ruined the p-word!”
Me: “Oh! Um, I’m sorry– WHAT?”
Kid: “Yeah even my grandpa can’t say the p-word anymore! And that’s all he ever talks about!”
Me: “Woah woah woah. What do you mean that’s all he ever talks about?”
Kid: “Yeah he always comes over and wants to talk about it and they’re like ‘you can’t say the p-word in this house!'”
Me: <silent, horrified stare>
Kid: “But if I whisper the p-word you won’t tell my parents, right?”
Me: “You know, I don’t think that’s the best ide–”
Kid (whispering): “Politics.”

But you can see why I panicked.

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Years ago, I had a 1st grader who hit another boy in the class. I told that 1st grader to apologize immediately. So he crossed his arms defiantly, looked down at the floor, and mumbled “I’m sorry.” Then, the second I turned my back, he kicked the boy again and spit in his face.

Still a more sincere apology than Trump’s.

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x_NyIHOTf14

“Second Amendment People”

The irony in Trump’s “Second Amendment” suggestion is that the only people intelligent enough to decipher his true meaning are the people who would never listen to Trump in the first place. His supporters seem to have missed the message entirely, hearing only, “Hey, gun lovers, go grab your guns and use them to VOTE!” Because that makes complete sense.

So Trump, the next time you’re at a rally and want to sanction the assassination of your opponent, try saying it explicitly and slowly. Really enunciate.

Your people aren’t the brightest.

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