Tag Archives: teacher problems

“No Air Conditioning in Place of Employment, Despite Subject’s Possession of Master’s Degree”

May 11, 2015Kids/Teachingkids, teacher problems, teachingEmily

That’s what it will say as “cause of death” on my coroner’s report, which I imagine will be written and processed by day’s end.

The multipurpose room

May 11, 2015Kids/Teachingpublic school, teacher problemsEmily

You know that feeling when you really have to pee, and you go to the two staff bathrooms, but you can’t use them because both are occupied by children taking standardized tests?

Oh, no? You just pee when you want to pee? In a bathroom without children? That is used AS A BATHROOM.

Well. Lucky you.

#publicschool

Ebola Mom, Part 32

May 11, 2015Kids/Teachingebola mom, kids, parenting, parents, teacher problems, teaching, texting, tutoring, ues parentsEmily

(Continuation of Ebola Mom Part 31 and part of the Ebola Mom series)

Alright, well. I officially don’t understand what is happening.

Every Child Left Behind (in a pool of tears and anxiety-induced vomit)

May 10, 2015Kids/Teachingeducation, john oliver, kids, parenting, parents, pearson, race to the top, robindel, sing, standardized tests, teacher problems, teachers, testsEmily

Teachers, people with children, or anyone who knows or cares about teachers or children, this John Oliver rant on standardized testing is a MUST WATCH.

Every bit of it is hilarious because it’s so painfully and pathetically true.

Two of my personal fave highlights:

1. “Pearson are the educational equivalent to Time Warner Cable– either you’ve never had an interaction with them and don’t care, or….they HAVE RUINED YOUR FUCKING LIFE.”

2. Did anyone else know that Pearson uses Craigslist to recruit test-graders? Yes, that’s right– “Pearson chooses test graders the same way that you’d look for a mattress full of bedbugs or a no-strings-attached hand job.” This is like when I found out that Sing at Camp Robindel was judged by the local balloon lady. (sorry to the 99% of readers who have NO idea what I’m referring to, but to the 1% who do, you know the EXACT disappointed feeling I’m talking about).

Things I Thought Were Self-Explanatory

May 8, 2015Kids/Teachingfield trips, kids, parenting, parents, teacher problems, teachingEmily

Dear Parents,

If you volunteer to chaperone a school field trip, you must stay awake while on said trip.

Thanks.

Miss Emily

P.S. No, seriously. Wake up, ma’am.

This Should Go Well

May 8, 2015Kids/Teachingteacher problems, teachingEmily

“Do you know how to get there? Because I do not.”

— our field trip bus driver, aka the man responsible for knowing how to get there.

Not Every Idea Is a Good Idea

May 7, 2015Kids/Teachingideas, kids, NYC, rats, subway, teacher problems, teachersEmily

Kid: “I have a really good idea for when I’m older. It’s going to change the world.”

Me: “Great. I hope you acknowledge me, your supportive and inspiring 4th grade teacher, when you do it!”

Kid: “I definitely will.”

Me: “So am I allowed to know the idea? Just so I can prepare for fame.”

Kid: “Yeah. So you know how subway cars are always killing rats that live in the subway?”

Me (already regretting any involvement in this): “Yeah…”

Kid: “Well, I’m going to start a program that will protect the subway rats.”

Me: “May I ask why you feel the subway rats need protection?”

Kid: “Like, why should they have to die? They’re innocent! They can be protected and domesticated. Kept as pets, even! Everyone in NYC could have a pet rat! We could save them ALL!”

I take it back. Don’t you dare mention me.

In fact, we never met.