During a whole-group lesson about personification, writing a poem with the kids.
Us: “How can we personify the sound leaves make in the breeze?”
Kid (raises hand): <makes loud breathing noise>
Us: “Ok, but how might we say that in words?”
Kid: <makes breathing sound again>
Us: “Ok, but we are writing a poem, so we need WORDS.”
Kid: “Ok, hold on.”
Us: “WORDS.”
(Long Pause. Entire class waits.)
Kid: <makes breathing noise again>
Today the kids are practicing using similes in poetry.
Kid (writing a poem about fish): “Scaly like…hmmmm….Miss Emily, can you please help me?”
Me: “How about ‘scaly like an old lady’s hands’…”
Kid (looks at my hands): “But your hands aren’t scaly.”
Me: “I’m not an old lady!”
Kid: “Oh.”
Get the fuck out of my classroom.
When people find out I have a blog, the first thing they usually say is “Oh! What’s it about?”
So in the interest of not having to repeat myself, I am going to answer this question publicly, once and for all:
I don’t really know.
Going through some old photos and found this gem from a former student.
A big concept we teach in 3rd grade is to “make sure your writing is clear for your reader.”
You can tell from the last line that he took this to heart.
#myworkhereisdone
Me: “I can use the word ‘pussy’ in this rehearsal dinner speech, right?”
Guy (bursts out laughing…laughter slowly fades): “Wait– are you serious?”
Me: “Yes.”
Guy: “No!”
I’m keeping it.
When you’re writing your speech for your co-teacher’s rehearsal dinner and it’s 12pm on a Wednesday, it’s pretty important to be drunk on homemade cocktails.
You know, similar to how we teach our students to approach the writing process.
#thisspeechwontmakesense
Therapist: “Just so you know, I do not read your blog. As your therapist, I think it’s a conflict of interest, and actually a patient privacy issue. So if we’re ever in a session and you refer to something you’ve written about, just know I haven’t already read it– not because I don’t WANT to, but out of respect for the doctor/patient relationship.”
Me: “Oh my gosh, of course, I totally get and respect that you don’t read it– that makes complete sense!”
Bitch.
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