All posts by Emily

Lessons I Learn From My Dad

Dad was here this weekend and, over some wine, recounted the story of how he was being groomed for the family business, but decided, most irresponsibly, to skip the business boards and instead go to a basketball game with his friends. He thought he could just take a make-up exam, but he was wrong. So, on a whim, he decided to go to law school instead. He then became a very successful lawyer and discovered a profession he loves.

So the lesson here is that if you ditch your responsibilities, a better opportunity will simply fall into your lap. So just be as flaky as possible and it’ll all work out.

Or something about a mix of serendipity, hard work, forging your own path, and opening yourself up to endless possibilities.

I don’t know I was drunk.

These Kids Are As Excited About Tina Fey as I Am About Everything They Say Ever

The student council annouced that tomorrow’s theme is “Dress as your favorite character,” so I excitedly announced to all the kids that I am going to be Liz Lemon. 

Take the blankest stare you can imagine. Like a serious dead-behind-the-eyes, couldn’t-care-less, wtf-are-you-talking-about stare. I was met with 28 of those. 

Whatever, I’m not NOT going to wear the “TGS Staff” sweatshirt I ordered from the NBC store 5 years ago in hopes that this day would one day come. So you better do your homework* tonight, kids. 

*”homework” = watch 30 Rock. Literally don’t care if you read or do math. 

  

This Fit Once

That moment last weekend when you begrudgingly put on that ring your ex-boyfriend bought you, because you had a fancy event and it’s the only nice ring you own. That subsequent moment, 3 days later when you STILL can’t get it off your finger because oops, you got fatter since that relationship.

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So what I’m trying to say is, it’s time for someone to buy me a really nice ring that fits, Dad.

Also I might have to saw my finger off.