Category Archives: Family
Eric Tries to Fit In
Last night texts were flying back and forth on the family text chain, to which Eric was recently added. He’s going to the golf Masters this weekend so, feeling like one of the gang, he texted the family mid-convo to see if they wanted anything.
An hour later, after no response…
A Jewish Mother’s Take on Garry Shandling’s Death
Translation: “You better get married.”
Last Time I Invite THIS GUY to My Birthday
When the Cat’s Away….
Dad sent Mom a photo of himself on vacation in Vail, which she then sent to me and my siblings.
Pretty sure this is the last time he sends a photo.
At Least Andrew Knows
As usual, Andrew (my brother-in-law) is the only one who knows where our parents are.
This is why group text shouldn’t exist
For reasons I can’t fathom, as I am never actually involved in the conversation, I am on a group text with Eric and my brother in law Andrew.
This is the kind of shit I wake up to.
Strategic Placement
My sister and I are super proud of the placement of our childhood photos in my dad’s office. 😒
Insulting
I’ll admit, I’m terrible about talking on the phone. I just don’t like to do it. My friends, and my mother in particular, are always giving me a hard time about it, which is fair. I should call them more. I’m sorry!
But still, it’s always so insulting when I do speak to my mom on the phone and she makes a point to ask me if there are any major developments in my and Eric’s relationship that she should know about– clearly implying that if some kind of major event WERE to occur, she wouldn’t even know about it. Which is just insane.
She’d obviously see it on Facebook.
Early Warning Signs
“Well, I’m glad Eric likes your couch. Remember that boyfriend you had who hated your couch? We should have known then and there that there was something seriously wrong with him.”
— My mother, who bought me my couch
(Yeah, it’s denim. And it’s fabulous. And my mother is 100% correct.)
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