Tag Archives: family communication

Thank God

Discussing the (later proven to be false) Emergency Missile Alert experience my parents had during their trip to Hawaii…

Dad: “So they corralled our whole hotel into the ballroom, about 500 people.”

Eric: “Was everyone panicked?”

Dad: “Oh, yeah. People were on their phones, everyone was calling their children.”

Me: “Funny, I don’t remember getting a call.”

Dad: “Oh, please.”

Me: “I’m just saying…”

Dad: “I’ll tell you what I was worried about…”

Me: “Dying?”

Dad: “Our tee time. Kept checking my watch to make sure we weren’t going to miss it. Thank god we didn’t.”

Yes. Thank god.



Family Communication, Part 5

(loosely related to other Family Communication posts, all with the running theme that this family barely qualifies as a family.)

There was a faint rumor (aka, Steph mentioned it once) weeks ago that Mom and Dad were going to come to NY next weekend for Dad’s birthday, and the whole family was going to go to dinner. Naturally, no one has heard anything since. So I decided (like a fucking Lerman Family amateur) to check in with the siblings and see if anyone had information…



As usual, no one knows a goddamn thing.

So I decided to go to the source, and brought Mom and Dad into the conversation.

Which just goes to show that in 35 years being a member of this family, I have learned zero things.


9 years later…..


P.S. Steph literally did nothing.




I’ll admit, I’m terrible about talking on the phone. I just don’t like to do it. My friends, and my mother in particular, are always giving me a hard time about it, which is fair. I should call them more. I’m sorry!

But still, it’s always so insulting when I do speak to my mom on the phone and she makes a point to ask me if there are any major developments in my and Eric’s relationship that she should know about– clearly implying that if some kind of major event WERE to occur, she wouldn’t even know about it. Which is just insane.

She’d obviously see it on Facebook.