Viewing a coyote exhibit at the Natural History Museum…
Kid: “My cousin’s name is Coyote!”
Me: “Really? Just like the animal?”
Kid (laughing): “No! That’d be so silly!”
Me: “Hah yeah that would be pretty silly.”
Kid: “It’s coyote with a ‘K’.”
Category Archives: Kids
Tutoring is Shitty
My teacher friend texted saying she had a classic tutoring story for me. Please read below, and think about this tomorrow when you are sitting at your adult job at your adult desk in your adult office because THIS IS OUR LIFE.
Not Stupid
Kid: “Miss Emily, is tooth fairy money pre-taxed?”
Me: “Excuse me?”
Kid: “The money I get from the tooth fairy– do I have to pay taxes on it?”
Me: “I’m shocked you even know what taxes are.”
Kid (clearly insulted): “Umm…yeah. I’m not stupid!!”
Oh. Sorry. I guess your BELIEF IN THE TOOTH FAIRY threw me off.
Yes. Yes we are.
“Um excuse me…are we taking a test today?”
— Kid, waking up from a 45 minute nap during said test.
Merry Christmas
Kid (approaching me with her hand out): “Miss Emily…I found this in a book.”
It was a booger.
Field Trips!
Parent chaperone (to me, once we returned back to school after our field trip): “I always feel like teachers need a good, stiff drink after a field trip day.”
Me (laughing): “Aw, nah, we love field trips! It’s great to see the kids so excited!”
I am 3 drinks deep.
Yeah I guess context was important there.
Today my class went on a field trip. Eric texted to see how it was going.
Ebola Mom, Part 46
Relevant
Me (after a thorough explanation of exactly what “author’s purpose” means): “So a good way to think about the author’s purpose is to remember the acronym PIE– persuade, inform, or entertain. Today you will read your own books and try to decide what the author’s purpose is. Is it to persuade? Inform? Or entertain? Maybe a little of all three. Record your thoughts in the table, with evidence from the text.”
Kids: <blank stares>
Me: “I’m going to take your silence to mean you understand. Now, are there any relevant questions?”
Kid who has never once asked a relevant question raises hand.
Me: “A RELEVANT question.”
Hand still raised.
Me: “What is your question?”
Kid: “I’ve never tasted pie before.”
Let’s Keep Doin’ What We’re Doin’, Gun Lovers!
What better way to honor the anniversary of the Sandy Hook tragedy than by continuing to do absolutely nothing.
http://www.theonion.com/article/no-way-to-prevent-this-says-only-nation-where-this-36131
Emily's Posts 