Tag Archives: Christmas

This Mom Nailed It

Me: “So today we are going to read this biography about Barack Obama.”

Kid: “Oh! That’s my Dad’s Christmas dinner guest!”

Me: “Um…explain.”

Kid: “So every year everyone in my family decides who we would invite to our Christmas dinner that year, if we could invite anyone in the world. My dad chose Barack Obama.”

Me: “Oh, I love that! And who did YOU choose?”

Kid: “Taylor Swift.”

Me: “Also a good one. And your Mom?”

Kid: “She chose ‘any black female voter from Alabama.'”

Me: smilelaugh.jpg

Kid: “Yeah I didn’t really get it.”

The Defense Does NOT Hold Water

Me: “Did you do your homework?”

Kid: “No, I didn’t have time. With Christmas and all.”

Me: “Christmas is still 2 weeks away.”

Kid: “I know, but like. There’s a LOT that goes into Christmas, you know? There’s a lot of stuff that leads up to it. It’s not just like you’re busy on that ONE day.”

Me: “I guess…”

(15 minutes later)

Me: “So what IS your family doing for Christmas?”

Kid: “Oh, my family? Nothing. We’re Jewish.”

 

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Holiday Hypocrisy: A Teacher’s Dilemma

Me (correcting a kid’s work): “20 divided by 2 is 40? So you’re telling me that if I split these 20 cubes into 2 equal groups, I’d have 40 in each group? Does that make sense? Is it logical?”

Kid: “No.”

Me: “Exactly. So it can’t be true. Remember, you ALWAYS have to ask yourself does this make sense? Is it logical?

(moments later)

Kid: “Santa is real, right?”

Me: “Of course…”

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Not for MYSELF

It’s official. iPhones can do everything now.

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But before you get all excited, note that they are not actually available yet.

I only know that because I looked into it out of curiosity, not because I was buying it for myself.

Well, not really curiosity. I was looking to buy it, but, again, not for myself.

I was looking to purchase it as a gift for a Christmas Yankee swap that I am attending.

So that I could win it.

 

New Starbucks Cups

Well yeah, of course, I completely agree with the outrage over the new Starbucks Christmas cups.  I don’t have to be Christian to understand the controversy and be completely offended. How do you go from touting symbols of Christmas to completely removing them?

I mean, what if Starbucks took the menorahs off the blue Chanukah cups?

Or the kinaras off the Kwanza cups?!

Oh wait.

Everyone needs to calm the fuck down.