Tag Archives: alabama

Alabama

Every man I encounter, to Nora: “Oh, look at you, handsome boy!”

Me (very nicely): “Haha she’s actually a girl but thank you! She will take the compliment on her good looks!”

(abortion becomes outlawed in Alabama)

Every man I encounter, to Nora: “Oh, look at you, handsome boy!”

Me: “Oh you WOULD think she’s a boy. OF COURSE YOU WOULD. BOYS RULE THE WORLD, RIGHT? EVERYTHING IS BOYS, BOYS, BOYS AND NO ONE CARES ABOUT GIRLS. WELL SHE MIGHT LOOK LIKE A BOY BUT SHE’S GOING TO GROW UP AND KICK YOUR ASS BECAUSE THE FUTURE IS FEMALE MOTHERFUCKER!”

So yeah I’m upset.

This Mom Nailed It

Me: “So today we are going to read this biography about Barack Obama.”

Kid: “Oh! That’s my Dad’s Christmas dinner guest!”

Me: “Um…explain.”

Kid: “So every year everyone in my family decides who we would invite to our Christmas dinner that year, if we could invite anyone in the world. My dad chose Barack Obama.”

Me: “Oh, I love that! And who did YOU choose?”

Kid: “Taylor Swift.”

Me: “Also a good one. And your Mom?”

Kid: “She chose ‘any black female voter from Alabama.'”

Me: smilelaugh.jpg

Kid: “Yeah I didn’t really get it.”