So far only one crier and one kid who eats her hair.
First day success!
Category Archives: Kids/Teaching
Professional Dream Analysis
Me: “I keep having that dream where I’m late for school, or missing something I need for school, or not sure what I have to get done for school.”
Therapist: “It sounds like you’re having anxiety about school.”
$300 fee– earned.
Do As I Say, Not As I Do
One of our school mottos is “Be yourself– everyone else is already taken.”
So on the first day with the kids tomorrow, my also jewish, white, 30-something co-teacher and I are going to wear matching dresses, necklaces, and hairstyles.
Because leading by example is overrated and hard.
But wearing matching outfits is adorable and fun!
I Got This
“This teaching thing is easier than I remember!” I thought to myself just now as I left my first day back at work.
Then I remembered the kids weren’t there today.
Tomorrow might be harder.
Don’t challenge me
Eric thought he’d challenge me to a “Who is going to have a more stressful day at work tomorrow” contest, the night before school starts.
Me: “I’m sorry, but you could work triple the hours I work and my day tomorrow would still be infinitely more stressful than yours.”
Eric: “I have to hit my target for the quarter or I get fired!”
Me: “I have to not hit a kid all year or I get fired!”
I won.
You Don’t Exist
No, former student. Stop waving at me from across the street. I still have exactly 15 hours to not care about you.
Oh. Right.
“Yeah that’s not going to work.”
–Starbucks barista, deadpan and unamused, when I opened my Facebook app instead of my Starbucks app and repeatedly tried to scan it.
Maybe starting work again isn’t such a bad thing.
#summerbrain
Final Week
“Stop agonizing, you still have ONE FULL WEEK of vacation left!”, I said to myself this morning after a night full of back-to-school dreams. And I felt much better.
Then someone who is not a teacher said the same exact thing to me.
So I punched him in the fucking face.
Don’t tell me how to feel, asshole.
#FinalWeek #DeathRow
Be Clear
Going through some old photos and found this gem from a former student.
A big concept we teach in 3rd grade is to “make sure your writing is clear for your reader.”
You can tell from the last line that he took this to heart.
#myworkhereisdone
Shhhh, Hush Now
A couple days ago, there was a tornado here in Glen Arbor, Michigan, where I am vacationing at a family friend’s lake house. When the tornado hit, I hid in a basement nook with 4 other adults and 2 young children. Then the following conversation ensued between me and a 5-year-old….
Kid (completely calm): “Um excuse me?”
Me: “Yes, hun?”
Kid: “What is happening?”
Me: “Oh. Well. There is a big storm outside, so we are just huddling here to stay safe. Everything is ok, though. As long as we’re down here we are ok.”
Kid: “Is it a tornado?”
Me: “I think it might be, yes.”
Kid: “Then that means the sky turned green.”
Me: “Hmmm. I don’t think so, kiddo. Pretty sure the sky turns grey.”
Kid: “No. It turns green. Green for a tornado.”
Me: “Ok, shhh. Quiet now, little one. You’re scared and not making sense.”
So after speaking to witnesses, it turns out skies 100% do turn green in a tornado. Who knew?!
Like, besides that 5 year old.
Yeah I’m an idiot.
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