ReTIREDment.
The Best Advice
At our end of year staff party…
Co-worker (to me): “I just want to wish you good luck in your future endeavors, and to say thank you so much for all your help when I first started here.”
Me: “Aw, thank you! But I definitely don’t remember being of any help at all!”
Co-worker: “No, you totally were. You gave me the best advice.”
Me: “Oh? What was that?”
Co-worker: “You said, ‘I’ve been here 4 years and I have no idea what I’m doing. If I haven’t gotten caught yet, neither will you.'”
It’s probably good I left the system.
No Need For Sentiments
“I’m cutting off your work email account at 5pm on Friday.”
— my Assistant Principal, to me, as he hugged me goodbye for the last time.
Now Accepting Congratulations
LAST DAY OF SCHOOL EVER!!!!!!!!
(That’s a clarifier for those of you who have been thinking since May that school is over already).
3:00pm glory shot (mixed with a sprinkle of anxiety and a lot of nostalgia, because my therapist says I’m allowed to feel multiple feelings at once) to follow.
Me: “There was something I wanted to blog about but now I forgot. I have to start writing things down.”
Eric: “Like, in a blog format?”
Why Buy The Cow
This weekend Eric and I went to a beautiful wedding in Baltimore. It really was such a sweet, lovely, touching affair. And as we sat at the intimate outdoor ceremony and watched the stunning bride walk down the aisle, I turned to Eric, looked deep into his eyes and said “MOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”
This post is funnier if you’ve seen this:
Kid: “Miss Emily, are you pregnant?”
Me: “No. Are YOU pregnant?”
Kid (confused): “That’s a silly question.”
Exactly.
Just a Little Morning Math
#june
That About Sums It Up
A few days ago, my coteacher and I sent this kid-written newspaper article to our significant others on the group text chain:
Then today, one of our students wrote a song about us and sang to us. We immediately sent it to the men.
We’ll be sure to publish that in the class paper. Advice column.
Seems Reasonable
“I had an itch.”
— Kindergartener, when I walked into the bathroom and saw her standing in front of the sink with her pants completely removed.
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