Tag Archives: exes

I Have Fans All Over Town 

Nothing feels better than running right by your ex boyfriend in the park, giving a hearty hello, and being silently glared at in return. 

He must read the blog, guys! 

  

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Finally! I’m In “That Place”

I just went running in the park and saw my ex boyfriend. He was with a girl who I can only assume is his new girlfriend, as they looked flirty and happy. And maybe it was the endorphins or maybe it’s just that I’m in a better, more mature, secure place in my life, but as I watched them I couldn’t help but think “You know what? That’s great.”

Because he totally got fat.

#dodgedthatbullet

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I Once Dated a Guy Who Called His Mom “Mommy”

End of story. Well, not END of story, but not the beginning of a story that is going anywhere good.

Sorry, guys. I’ve been sick and fairly isolated for over a week now and this is the shit that goes through my head when I try to force myself to rest.

Which is why I try not to rest too much.

Which might be why I’m always sick.

Whatever, at least I’m not whining about it to my MOMMY.

Anyway, the point of all this is…

Do you think that guy’s still single?

Any guy who loves his mom that much would definitely make me some chicken noodle soup.

Ok, sorry, that was absurd.

Matzoh ball soup.

Emails From My Brothers #10: Please Don’t Elaborate on Said Canoodle

The following sibling email exchange took place in 2006. Steph and I were living in an apartment together in NYC– she was in law school, I was in graduate school. Jeremy was a senior at Penn. Zack was a freshman at Wisconsin. The whole chain was started as an attempt to improve communication skills in our family. It failed.

But what did happen is that Steph contributed one solid, ridiculous email that made the rest of us genuinely laugh out loud.

To this day, it has never happened again.

I already posted that email (here), most of which she forced me to redact. So it’s not included below. The rest of the emails in the chain are, including Steph’s only other contribution (at the very end), which is much more in line with her character.

The emails themselves are not all that hilarious, but as a chain they create a pretty clear picture of the family dynamic, with some classic throw-back references.

**Note: any blurred-out content has been done so to protect the innocent– most importantly those who made the regretful decision to canoodle with Jeremy.

email 1

email 2

email 3

email_4 finalemail 5

email 6email 9email 10Email 11email 12

email 13