My mother, in a text to my brothers, expressing what I think we can all agree is a completely valid wedding concern:
Tag Archives: family dynamics
She’s No Enigma, My Mother
“Zack, is your shirt written in Chinese?”
— Andrew, 100% serious.
We had been drinking.
“The fact that you guys don’t play music on the beach makes me want to kill myself.”
— Eric, dramatically disapproving of the way this family vacations.
We Know
“I don’t know how to tell you this but…I think your brother might be a lesbian.”
— Eric, listening to Jeremy’s playlist of folksy cover artists.
It’s hard to vacation without the essentials
Sitting on the beach in complete and utter silence, reading our books. Then, out of nowhere…
Zack: “I really miss my bidet.”
(No response from any of us)
Zack: “Living without a bidet is fucking chaos. It’s so primitive.”
(Still no response)
Zack: “Might as well wipe my ass with a banana leaf.”
Uncle of the Year
The whole family is sitting on the couch drinking coffee, while Steph reads Is Your Mama a Llama to Tyler.
Steph (reading in her mommy voice): “‘Oh!’ I said. ‘You are right about that. I think that your mama sounds more like a……'”
(pauses to turn page)
Zack: “LIKE A WHORE!!!!!!”
“How many blazers do I need?”
— Eric, still clearly not understanding what’s going to happen on this vacation.
Hope Those Are Games for One
On Friday we leave for the annual family vacation in the Outer Banks. Eric joined last year for a few days, but this year will be coming for the full two weeks. Meanwhile, packages have been arriving at the apartment every day this week….
Oh god. No one told him.
#thisfamilydoesntdoactivities
What About Zack?
Discussing our upcoming family vacation to the Outer Banks….
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