Friend: “So if you’re dating a guy and things are going well, at what point do you tell him about the blog?”
Um, obviously in the first or second month.
After our first grandchild is born.
At that point he’ll be pretty locked in.
Tag Archives: modern dating
Dating App PSA
Dear All Men Everywhere,
It is really REALLY super creepy when the main profile photo on your dating app is a picture of yourself as a young boy. Do you think we like this? I’m so confused. This is the only photo we see in that first instant when we decide if we’re swiping right or left– are you TRYING to attract a woman who looks at a picture of a 5 year old boy and says “Ooooh, tell me MORE!”?
If that IS who you’re looking for, maybe try looking somewhere else.
Like jail.
That’s where pedophiles are. In jail.
Now stop being a creepster. The world has enough problems.
Emily
This.
Oh.
This Optimistic Guy, Part 2
This Optimistic Guy
This Guy Who I Tried To Give the Benefit of the Doubt
I really like egg salad.
This Guy Who Missed The Memo
The N-word in your very first text– keepin it classy, Brian!
(Context: There was a photo in his profile of him with Bob Dole, clearly taken years ago)
Yes. Brian is white. (And on behalf of white people everywhere, I would just like to thank him for the good PR.)
Why, yes. Yes I WOULD be interested.
I Just Crossed Paths With This Really Hot Guy
But I missed it because I was staring at this app telling me who I’m crossing paths with as I stare at this app.
Seems like just looking up might be easier.
That Moment After a First Date When You Realize He Only Said “Let’s Do This Again” To Be Polite
Except instead of a home-cooked meal on the table, it’s take-out chinese on the table. And instead of two glasses on the table, it’s one glass on the table. But it’s not really a glass on the table, it’s a solo cup filled with wine on the table. And it’s not a table. It’s a foot stool.
This is New York, guys.
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