Eric: “Oh god….what IS that?”
Me: “The reason I had to make you fall in love with me before winter.”
I slathered half a jar of vaseline on my face.
Tag Archives: relationships
Things I Do When Eric’s Out of Town
Yeah. I lit a candle.
When I Make Eric’s Bed
(Related to When Eric Makes the Bed )
Two can play this (very strange, wholly unproductive) game.
Now I’m late for work.
The Right Time
Eric is still holding a grudge from that time, back in the spring, when I rejected his invitation to a Mumford and Sons concert, especially now that I have a growing appreciation for live music (thanks to him).
#strategy
Romance, Part 4
“I’m getting on that piece of wood with you.”
— Eric, making it very clear what he will do should we find ourselves in the same situation as Rose and Jack after the Titanic sank.
I Deserved That
Eric (while cutting up the duck he cooked for dinner tonight): “Ugh, this duck is so fatty.”
Me: “That’s ok. I like my duck how I like my men” (cue laughing at my own joke).
Eric: “Well, good. Because I like my duck how I like my women.”
(20 second silence as he eats a few vegetables, cuts some more duck, takes a sip of water)
“…cunty.”
Winter Whining
I pull the hood of my puffy coat over my head, whimpering in the cold.
Eric: “There ya go! Warm now?”
Me: “Ugh. No. My eyes are still watering and freezing. I need a hood that covers my ENTIRE face.”
Eric: “That’d be perfect actually.”
Me: “Why? So you don’t have to look at me?”
Eric: “Are you kidding me? I LOVE looking at you!”
Me: “Awww…babe…”
Eric: “It’s listening to you that’s hard.”
Sunday in the Bahamas
Sitting on the beach with my kindle…
Me (without lifting my eyes from the screen): “You know, I have to say, I really didn’t like this book at first, but it’s taken an interesting turn and now it’s actually getting pretty good.”
Eric: <No response. Because, unbeknownst to me, he had gotten up and gone to the Tiki bar to watch football.>
Hell
Me: “If I die and go to hell, I imagine that my hell would be me eternally trying to spread hard, cold butter on a giant waffle.”
Eric: “My hell would be having to watch and listen to you doing that.”
What is Love?
(part of the What is Love series)
Love means taking a long, contemplative, extremely thoughtful pause and really considering the question, rather than just frivolously answering “Never!” when he asks “So when do you think you’ll get tired of me?”
I’m still thinking.
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