Kid (in reference to the state tests): “Is the rest of life going to be this boring?”
Me: “What?! No! Promise.”
More boring.
Tag Archives: teaching
Test Prep
Smack in the middle of this 4-hour-long 4th grade reading test, someone let out the most obnoxiously loud, exasperated yawn, disrupting the entire room.
It was me.
#thissucks
Exactly.
In reference to my post Hello? , a friend texted me the following:
Hello?
Today in school we gave a practice state exam. I took the kids with special needs to a separate, less distracting location to take their tests.
Kid: “Miss Emily, is it true that all the smart kids take their test in the classroom, and all the dumb kids go to a different room with you?”
Me: “What!? NO. Absolutely not. Taking your test in a different room has NOTHING to do with your intelligence. You are all VERY smart. Everyone needs different things in order to do their best work and be able to focus, that’s all.”
Kid: “Are you sure it’s not because we’re dumb?”
Me: “I promise. In fact, I used to have testing accommodations when I was a kid. Do you think I’m smart?!”
Kid: (no answer)
Me: “Hello?”
Kid: “Oh, yes– of course, you’re very smart! Sorry, I just spaced out for a second.”
Aaaaand that’s why you’re in here.
Hobbies
Kid: “What’s your favorite hobby?”
Me: “Running.”
Kid: “But running isn’t a hobby.”
Me: “Sure it is!”
Kid: “But running is just like…moving. Fast.”
He’s right.
Well that was 10 minutes of my life
During reading assessments…
Me: “In this passage about a fishing trip, you will see the word ‘minnows.’ Do you know what minnows are?”
Kid: “Of course! I eat them all the time!”
Me: “Ummm…I’m not sure we’re talking about the same thing. I’m talking about bait used to catch bigger fish.”
Kid: “Big fish eat minnows?!?”
Me: “Well, yes…”
Kid: “Just like how I eat minnows?”
Me: “Ok, so, again–I’m not sure we’re talking about the same thing.”
Kid: “Yes we are! Minnows! My mom buys them at the CVS. I like strawberry best. But also the mint ones.”
Me: “Ok so…minnows. Not Mentos.’”
Kid: “Ooooooh! Yeah I don’t know what minnows are.”
This is Worse
The result of our deodorant chat with our 4th graders is that they are now wearing cologne. A LOT of cologne.
Still no deodorant, though.
Ebola Mom, Part 48
At Least No One is Wasting Their Time Here
At the conclusion of a whole discussion about preparing their daughter for the state tests in April…
Us: “Our time is just about up, but did you have any questions or comments?”
Parent: “No, everything is good, thank you.” (pauses to collect papers) “Oh! One thing. We are moving to China in 3 weeks.”
Can’t Wait to Catch That
At early dismissal, to a parent who looked like she had the flu:
Me: “You look like you’re really not feeling well. We can absolutely do your conference another time over the phone so that you don’t have to come in tonight.”
Parent: “Yeah I’m really sick. But don’t worry, I’m still coming tonight.”
Yeah I’m not sure you understand what it is I’m worried about.
It’s not you.
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