At early dismissal, to a parent who looked like she had the flu:
Me: “You look like you’re really not feeling well. We can absolutely do your conference another time over the phone so that you don’t have to come in tonight.”
Parent: “Yeah I’m really sick. But don’t worry, I’m still coming tonight.”
Yeah I’m not sure you understand what it is I’m worried about.
It’s not you.
Having the flu means forgetting to put on pants before opening the door for the man delivering your milkshake. And by forgetting, I mean not caring enough.
Stop judging me, guys! Yes– I like milkshakes when I’m sick!
That moment when you run out of tissues, toilet paper, Starbucks napkins and paper towels, so you’re forced to blow your ever-running nose into THIS cocktail napkin.
And yeah, I know. I too hope I don’t have to use the bathroom before morning.
I’ll let you know what she comes up with. (And no, Siri, I do NOT want to tap and edit “bastards.” That’s the exact word I want to use. Stop judging me.)