(Part of the Ebola Mom series)
To be clear, I was hired as a math tutor.
No. It’s actually not.
“It’s halfway out.” — Kid, when he requested to use the bathroom mid test and I asked if it’s an emergency.
Certainly helps explain why one of my students had a panic attack mid-way through the first reading passage– meant for 6TH/7TH GRADERS.
Kid: “Wanna hear something REALLY REALLY cool?”
Me: “Yes!”
Kid: “Neil Armstrong smuggled mint lifesavers into his spacecraft.”
That moment when you figure out that two of your students have told you a very serious, very elaborate lie. And they think they’ve gotten away with it, so they’ve been secretly smiling at each other all day. And you’re literally counting the MILLIseconds until you get to bust them.
I need a life.
Tutoring…
Kid: “Do you know what a blog is?”
Me: “Hmmm…No. What’s a blog?”
Kid: “It’s like an internet page where you write things and put pictures and stuff. My teacher has one.”
Me: “Really?”
Kid: “Yeah, it’s a blog for our classroom. It talks about all the cool things we do in school, tells the parents what we’re learning, and she write notes about how proud she is of us.”
Right. Just like my blog.
Moments ago in CVS, I ran into a former student of mine who is now in 5th grade…
Me: “Hey there, kiddo!”
Kid: “Oh hi, Miss Emily! You know, it’s funny that I’m running into you because I was actually just thinking about how I behaved as your student in Kindergaretn, 1st, and 3rd grade, and boy was I a terror! I’m so sorry about that. Now that I’m in 5th grade and about to go to middle school, I realize that my behavior was very unfair to you, and to the other kids in the class. So I just want to say thank you. I really appreciate all the time and energy you took to get me through those years, and I promise all your hard work really paid off, because look at me now!”
Then I snapped out of my delusion and saw that rather than return my greeting, the kid had run away and hidden behind a rack of gum.