“No, no, no. Good ALWAYS beats evil. EVERY TIME! Don’t you ever read comic books?”
— Kid, age 7, on how he knows Trump will lose the election.
Tag Archives: trump
Years ago, I had a 1st grader who hit another boy in the class. I told that 1st grader to apologize immediately. So he crossed his arms defiantly, looked down at the floor, and mumbled “I’m sorry.” Then, the second I turned my back, he kicked the boy again and spit in his face.
Still a more sincere apology than Trump’s.
Given the Circumstances…
I mean yeah. There was no other choice but to re-name the sibling text chain.
The Best Part
The best part about this whole this whole thing is watching every single news source and Republican trying to tip toe around the word “pussy.”
“Second Amendment People”
The irony in Trump’s “Second Amendment” suggestion is that the only people intelligent enough to decipher his true meaning are the people who would never listen to Trump in the first place. His supporters seem to have missed the message entirely, hearing only, “Hey, gun lovers, go grab your guns and use them to VOTE!” Because that makes complete sense.
So Trump, the next time you’re at a rally and want to sanction the assassination of your opponent, try saying it explicitly and slowly. Really enunciate.
Your people aren’t the brightest.
Only Theory I Have Left
Is it possible that everyone thinks he’s saying he’s going to build a huge MALL?
Because I get it– that would be exciting!
Things I Thought Were Un-Ruinable
Welp. He did it.
He ruined Cinco De Mayo.
And taco salad.
Transpondster
“Trump said ‘bigly.’ That doesn’t even make sense. How can he be president if he doesn’t make sense?” — 4th grader
Kid, I ask myself that every damn day.
Prince dies, and yet Trump’s sweeping victory is still the worst thing that happened this week.
Election Day
Kid: “My mom and dad are voting for Trump!”
Me: “Cool! That’s their right!”
And then I flunked him.
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