I just walked into my lobby alongside another young woman, who I’ve never seen before but who apparently lives in my building. We approach the mailboxes, and she points to a set of apartment keys dangling out of a mailbox.

Her: “You see those keys? That’s my husband.”
Me: (laughing) “That’s hilarious.”
Her: “Well the irony is, he would KILL me if I did something like that! I do absent minded stuff all the time and he’s so critical!”
Me: “Well then you should definitely take a photo of it and hold this over him until the end of time.”
Her (wide-eyed): “Oh my god, that’s SUCH a good idea!” (takes photo) “Brilliant. I take it you use this tactic with your husband?”
Me: “I don’t have a husband.”

Perhaps this is why.