Comedy, and the world, lost a great one today.
Everything about Garry’s turn on “Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee,” from the title of the episode to the discussion of Robin Williams dying “so young in his 60s,” is painfully prophetic and poetic. A must-watch.
We’ll miss you, Garry.
(And for the record, Garry– I like “Go fuck yourself,” too. You’re my hero.)
The bandanas made it.
Eric: “I feel like I’ve really cramped up your apartment. Is it making you anxious?”
Me: “What?! No, babe…”
Yes, I enjoyed my first two phish concerts. But let’s rein it in.
That 4th grade boy in the super tight dino jammies.
Eric: “You realize I’m pretty much fully moving in tomorrow, right?”
99% of me: “I know, I’m so excited!”
1% of me:
Eric got us both FitBits and immediately challenged me to a “who takes more steps in a week” contest. Which, to be honest, is just insane, as 1) I run marathons and 2) I’m on my feet with children all day.
But he INSISTED he’d still out-step me, which made no logical sense, unless the theory “Boys are good at all the things!!!” makes sense to you. (No, he didn’t say that. But it was there on his smug face). So I have spent the entire week ensuring that I will beat him– running unnecessary runs, finishing every errand that’s been on my my to-do list for months, mindlessly walking in circles in my kitchen, pacing for 25 minutes in my therapist’s waiting room (which didn’t at all make the other patients anxious, I’m sure of it. They would have been clutching that Xanax regardless.)
But it’s all been worth it because I have been kicking his ass, and have so thoroughly enjoyed rubbing it in his face all week.
Ok, well. This isn’t fun anymore.
I quit.
Me (excitedly): “Oh! Wanna watch ‘Girls?'”
Eric (adamant): “No. Absolutely not.”
Me: “Oh, come on.”
Eric (more adamant): “NO.”
Me: “I don’t understand why you have such a problem with it. ”
Eric: “‘Girls’ is what they’re now showing at Guantanamo Bay. Instead of water boarding.”
Me: “Ok, ok.”
Eric: “Lena Dunham is terrible.”
Me: “I get it.”
Eric: “And Shoshana should be Sho-shot.”
Me: “Shoshana is the likable one! It’s Allison Williams’s character who’s the worst!”
Eric: “The one who had her asshole eaten out on camera? Yeah, I bet her dad is REAL proud. Look at him now. She gets her ass eaten out and the next thing you know he’s lying to America and getting fired. Look what ‘Girls’ did to HIM.”
Me: “Ok, we won’t watch it. Christ.”
“Here, look! I got you some gifts for your office.”
–Eric, handing me 12 rolls of toilet paper and a shower radio.
Kid: “What’s your Instagram name?”
Me: “What’s Instagram?”
Kid: “You don’t know what Instagram is?!”
Me: “Is it like a cracker you can make instantly?”
Kid <head in hands>: “Oh my god.”
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