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(Not quite as prolific as my first guest blogger, but then he is a man….)
Tag Archives: baby
Holiday Entertainment
It’s funny how when you spend an extended amount of time with family in close quarters over the holidays, everyone starts to get really snippy with one another. Like how my mom just gave me the most disgusted, horrified look in response to the most benign comment.
I only suggested we put the baby in the dryer for ONE cycle.
No but seriously. We got this.
(Continuation of I Love Babysitting )
I Love Babysitting
My sister and brother in law have a bar mitzvah on Long Island, so tonight’s the night Eric and I lube up the baby and watch him crawl across the hardwood floors, an opportunity we missed during Lubegate and have regretted ever since.
If that goes well (how could it not?), we will break out hockey sticks and use the baby as a puck.
We will then stick him in a huge steam pot with pasta, dump red sauce on him, sprinkle him with parmesan, take a photo, and advertise him on craigslist as a gourmet spaghetti-and-meatball dinner for 10.
And to think I don’t even charge Steph and Andrew for my services.
Uncle of the Year
The entire family is here in the Outer Banks (OBX) for our annual 2-week vacation, but Jeremy doesn’t arrive until Thursday…
Things I Should Learn Before Having Kids
Sang some nursery rhymes to my baby nephew last night…
Me: “Patty cake, patty cake, baker’s man….bake me a cake as fast as you can….rollllllllllll it….
(long, confused pause)
Me: “Do something elllllllllse to it….”
Brother in law: “Pat it! You gotta PAT it!”
Yeah, well, fuck this. Auntie Em doesn’t bake.
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