Tag Archives: friends

Share Your Favorite Blog Day!

Being Awkward/Dumb Stuff I Do, Random Thoughts/Happenings, , , , , , , , , ,

Guys! Now that I am an in-the-know member of the blogging community, I learned that today is international “Share Your Favorite Blog” Day!

The rules are simple–

1. Choose your favorite blog (this one)

2. Share it on your Facebook/Twitter/Instagram/Snapchat/Whatever the hell else is out there ruining our interpersonal skills

3. Type a quick blurb with your share, such as “THIS BLOG IS AMAZING AND YOU MUST READ IT!” or “THIS BLOG IS THE BEST THING THAT EVER HAPPENED TO MY LIFE!” or “THE WRITER OF THIS BLOG IS A COMPLETE DISASTER BUT IT’S FUN TO READ ABOUT!”

4. Become my new best friend (can only be accomplished by completing steps 1-3).

Thanks so much guys!! Share Your Favorite Blog Day is definitely my new favorite holiday, and I’m so grateful to the person who thought it up!**

**I thought it up. No such holiday exists. Unless you count this post as its birth. So I guess technically now it exists, but I’m the only one celebrating.

Just share my fucking blog. Please.

Share Your Favorite Blog Day

#shareyourfavoriteblogday

A Friendly, Informative Reminder to Married People

Dating/Single Life, Friends, , , , , , , ,

Yesterday, while recounting the absurd, insulting, and downright disgusting interactions I have had on dating apps, a married friend said to me “I just LOVE living vicariously through my single friends’ stories!”

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Here’s the thing, married people. We know you don’t actually mean any harm by this. But when you say such things, this is what we single people hear:

“Your life, much like a horror movie, is entertainment for me.

Seriously, I wish I had a tub of popcorn and some snowcaps. Maybe a coke. 

Also, much like a horror movie, I am grateful it is not MY life. (For real. Thank. GOD.)

In fact, MOST like a horror movie, afterwards it makes me appreciate the safe, comfortable life I do have.

What I’m saying, in case I wasn’t clear, is that your life is essentially a gory, terrifying Stephen King film.

I’m sorry you’re the aging star of it.

It’s fun for ME, though.”

Then you laugh maniacally, hop in your diamond car, and drive home to your house made of Godiva, where your white-tux-clad husband is waiting for you with champagne and a foot rub.

I’m Going to Die Alone: A Male vs. Female Response

Dating/Single Life, Family, Mental Health, , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Sometimes I get the old, “I’m going to die all alone” blues. Nothing dire or overly dramatic. Really.

They usually happen on Sunday. So, like….today.

I texted a female friend with this concern, and her response:

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Then a male friend:

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I’m not gonna lie– the male friend snapped me out of it.

When Male Friends Are Unhelpful

Friends, Random Thoughts/Happenings, , , , , , , ,

Me: “What’s a good way to get more blog followers?”
Guy: “Post a nude photo.”
Me: “Ok, like something I would actually do.”
Guy: “Waist-up nude photo.”
Me: “ACTUALLY. DO.”
Guy: “Photo between waist and neck. Nude.”
Me: “So…my boobs.”
Guy: “Yes.”
Me: “Ok, so again…ACTUALLY DO.”
Guy: “You won’t even do THAT?”
Me: “No! Besides, these boobs aren’t going to get any followers.”
Guy: “Yeah. Maybe someone else’s boobs. SAY they’re yours, though.”

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