Tag Archives: psychiatrist

But I Pay You to Be an Infallible Robot

Me: “I did what you suggested, but I think it made me feel worse.”
Therapist: “Ok, well. That is information.”
Me: img_1179-7
Therapist: “I apologize if it made you feel worse. Sometimes my advice is wrong.”
Me: “What?”
Therapist: “I make mistakes.”
Me: “WHAT?!”
Therapist: “I am only human.”
Me: “YOU ARE?!”

My Students Will Know I Have a Mental Illness

The other day some teachers in my school were discussing how the 5th graders have been very into googling their teachers to see what kind of dirt they can dig up.

I’m sure this trend will catch on with the 4th graders soon enough, so just to prepare myself for what my students might find, I googled my name. The very first thing to pop up (besides my LinkedIn page) was an essay my father wrote about why he supports mental health organization Active Minds.

It goes into detail about my battle with Depression and Anxiety, focusing specifically on a time when I was deeply, deeply depressed, to the point where I had to quit my job and move home. It talks about how I couldn’t function. How my brain essentially lost the ability to comprehend the simplest of information. How I was terrified all the time, and couldn’t stop crying. How I was completely dependent on those around me. How I took, and continue to take, medication for mental illness. How I saw, and continue to see, a psychiatrist.

And you know what? Good.

Sure, I could worry about the general stigma and misunderstanding. I could worry about judgement from the students’ parents. I could worry that the children, families, or administration would look at or treat me differently.

But I don’t. At all. The old me would have.

Here’s how I see it now:

Your teacher was really sick and she got better, kids. And she works extremely hard to stay better, even though some days can be pretty tough. But she keeps going. And she has wonderful, strong relationships with caring, amazing people who are there to support her through the darkness and celebrate with her in the light. She stumbles, and sometimes it takes weeks or months to get back up. But she does. And she’s stronger and wiser for it.

I think that’s a pretty great lesson for a 10 year old.

Don’t you?

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Now let’s just hope to god they never find my blog. IMG_6871

When Kids Have a Secret

Kid: “Do they put bars on the windows at school so no one will jump out of them?”
Me: “Well, I think it’s more to prevent accidents, but yes, it would also prevent someone from jumping.”
Kid: “Yeah that’s like some of my mom’s patients [her mom is a psychiatrist]. But I can’t talk about that. I’m not allowed to.”
Me: “I totally understand.”
Kid: “Yeah. Like, I definitely can’t talk about the man who tried to jump out his window.”
Me: “Ok, then don’t.”
Kid: “He didn’t actually do it, though.”
Me: “Well I’m very glad to hear that.”
Kid: “Yeah.” (pause) “Or like the woman who drinks too much. I’m definitely not supposed to talk about her.”
Me: “Got it. Then let’s not talk about it.”
Kid: “Ok. Yeah, I can’t. It’s a secret.”
Me: “Understood.”
(long pause)
Kid: “She drinks wine in the morning.”